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Iʼm the only thing worse than a Reply Guy. Iʼm a Favorite Guy. Thatʼs right, I favorite your shit if I like it and then I go on with my life

brown, blue, pink

Switched to my cold weather cologne today and Iʼm loving it

The main difference between British and American people is that British people read /litrachoor/ while American people read /cereal boxes/

Have you seen the bigger version? It came up in my illuminated manuscript browsing

Itʼs clear to me that becoming “woke” is an unlearning or deprogramming process rather than a form of indoctrination. If you can set aside social conditioning regarding what identities people “should” have, 90% of the rest of it is just basic empathy and courtesy.

Imagine what roles Patrick Stewart might have enjoyed in his career if only he had consented to the wearing of various wigs

You use “Door-Dash.” I wear JORDACHE®. We are not the same.

I picked up trash along the roadway this morning after walking the boy to school.

I am not some goody-two-shoes. I was motivated entirely by righteous indignation and disgust at the slovenliness of my neighbors.

Nevertheless, the trash got picked up. Score one for misanthropy.

Oh, FFS. The headline “Voice of Darth Vader more machine now than man” wrote itself for you. It wrote itself for you! And you left it sitting on the table, you hacks.

[James Earl Jones] had reportedly “signed off” on plans to replace Vader’s upcoming dialogue with a blend of archival recordings and A.I. technology after hearing how well the new tech could mimic his trademark voice, according to Vanity Fair.

thehill.com/homenews/3659617-j

A dude in a movie can take a gunshot to the spleen and walk it off but if somebody gets shoved and hits the back of their head on something from three inches away? That motherfucker dead

At this very moment Big Freedia is holding an instructional Twerkshop in the courtyard next to my office.

History only moves in one direction. As a Gen-Xer there are things I might find excessive about Gen-Z politics, but I have to recognize that their worldview followed dialectically from the world created by previous generations’ views and is some ways even a corrective to things that our parents found excessive about *our* politics. Whatever is wrong about the way young adults see the world will be corrected by their kids, not by their parents.

I don’t think cockney rhyming slang is real. I think somebody made it up to make fun of British people

See, shit like this is why I will never have clout. Unfunny jokes, dated references, but if it pops in my brain the little poast homunculus will keep beating his drum until I crap it out in the toot box

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Why do you build me up
Badonkadonk Baby
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