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I could be wrong, but I feel like the foot traffic on my street has risen substantially since speed bumps were installed. The speed of cars has *definitely* reduced.

Autumn :bisexual_flag: boosted

I wonder how bad it would be to eat this entire party-size bag of potato chips in one sitting.

“Did you hear the one about the woman who reported sexual harassment? Of course you didn’t; she was forced to sign an NDA.”

mcsweeneys.net/articles/jokes-

Autumn :bisexual_flag: boosted
Autumn :bisexual_flag: boosted

Thinking about someone who would describe themselves as “not really a weekend guy”

If you’re a citizen of the United States and not registered to , you should fix that.

vote.gov/

Autumn :bisexual_flag: boosted

.
| ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄|
| MASTODON! |
|_______|
______/ \-. ||
.-/ ( o\_//
| ___ \_/\---'
|_|| |_||

Autumn :bisexual_flag: boosted

Porcelain Rocket, the company that made my favorite fanny pack, is going to fix the plastic piece that broke, and I’m so happy. 😊

My kind of identity crisis is deciding to abandon my old Instagram account and starting a new one.

Autumn :bisexual_flag: boosted
Autumn :bisexual_flag: boosted
Autumn :bisexual_flag: boosted

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️ Cursed: Pineapple Pizza. 

Applied to work the polls on Election Day in November. 🇺🇸

Autumn :bisexual_flag: boosted
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Mastodon

Mastodon instance focused on the Triangle region of North Carolina.